Draft of Self Portrait

I just thought of the idea of having a self portrait done in order to cement my spot in posterity. Plus, it is important for me to complete “my story” for history. I want to work on smoothing out the rough edges, and laying on the finish coat of the product.

Speaking of legacy, my oldest granddaughter Diajelle’s grandmother MiMi (my ex-wife) asked me to print this certificate out to give to her mother (my ex-mother-in-law). Diajelle (who makes 17 this weekend) was selected as a member of the National Honor Society. She is also very thoughtful and kind to her grandfather, me.


Diajelle’s Certificate

Here is Diajelle going to her prom last year.


Diajelle and her prom picture.

I have started mixing my martinis with the real James Bond martini recipe. I twerk the recipe a little bit to fit my taste. James Bond favored his martinis “shaken not stirred.” However, I am okay with mine stirred because I like to have a bit of ice in mine any way.

In other news, My lingering question about Fox News is: After fine, sexy-legged Gretchen Carlson of Fox News lost her contract with Fox, where did that pretty cutie-pie work then? I miss her on her afternoon show. Gretchen’s contract was not renewed with Fox because she filed sexual harassment charges against her then-Fox boss, Roger Ailes.


The beautiful Gretchen Carlson of Fox News.


Where is Gretchen now?

UPCOMING: I will put a picture of my son-in-law beset with Karma for laughing all these years at me grieving him taking my daughter from me. Boo Hoo!

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Pork Loins Plate #2

My “ex” is sitting on the sofa talking on the phone as I write this. She has no idea that I am writing about her. Hahaha… I am trying to build up the courage to ask her for a second plate of pork loins. I’d better not push my luck. Usually when I lick my plate clean like that, she gets the hint and offers me more. Also, Carl and Milton (see below) reminded me about the good times we all had when my children were infants.

I waited long and patiently. Finally my “ex” gave me seconds on the delicious pork loins. Wait by the banks of “the river of life” long enough and the Good Lord will provide.


Plate #2

Carl Delery (my brother) wrote: FERD, I would expect you and many others to question my mental state if I were to start posting pictures of “me and my #ex-wife” on Facebook. I’m wondering what #you’re thinking at this very moment: “Oh I wonder what life would be like if only me and the #redhead … ; or me and the #redhead were such … ; etc.

Well, Carl, you are correct that “many others” are questioning my mental state concerning my posting of pictures of me and my ex-wife on social media. Maybe it is possible that I have rocks in my head.

Also, my ex-neighbor Milton and many friends used to come to many parties by our (my wife and I) house. He remembers my daughters before they were even crawling. They (the crew) often visited my wife and me: Karen, Marvell, many others. Carl used to come for card games almost every Saturday. Coincidentally, guess who just cooked and fed me that fine dinner at my daughter’s house. YES! Hahaha…. A few seconds ago, that “was” a big plate of pork loins, greens and gravy. I would take Red’s picture right now, but she would surely break my phone and my neck :).


Plate One

P.S. I am doing fifteen minutes of stand-up at the Neutral Ground Coffee House on Wednesday. I will let y’all know how I make out.


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Look Gift Horse In Mouth

My brother, Carl Delery, asked me several questions recently which I have been trying to answer here. They are fine questions.

I also have recently been studying the old adage DO NOT LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH! Through the years, I have sometimes offered kindness, gifts, love or magnanimosity to some people who said that it was not necessary or that I did not have to do this-or-that, give something or offer something. Sometimes I tell them that in some cultures it is considered rude or “a slight” to not accept a kindness, gift or offer. I say here that it is important for us to study this phenomenon in life.

As time went on, I sometimes noticed the truth about this “saying” working its way out. I started reading insincerity on the part of some people whom I was socializing with or dealing with. Eventually, I began reading them like a book. Certain truths in life reveal themselves to you in “living color” if you sit beside the banks of the “river of life” long enough.

First, however, I want to get back to what Carl asked:
So, Ferd, your dreams have beginnings middle and ends? Do you have actors play the parts and even roll the credits at the end? Are all your dreams theatrical productions or maybe some are game shows? If so, do you watch the game show dreams to the end, like the movie dreams, and announce winners?

UPDATE: 2/25/2018 — I plan to take a few minutes today or tomorrow to write briefly about all of my meals from yesterday. I was surprised to find out when I woke up today that I gained only 1 pound.

Carl asked:
Ferd, it sure sounds like you have fun in your dreams. You probably even get to surf through the productions. Do you have instant replay where you can cut and perfect the performances? What do you do if one of your actors get sick, do you have stand-ins? Wow, that’s a thought. Do you have stand-up comedy or musical performances? Man I’m soo intrigued! Who is your favorite performer, is she the redhead? Do you have Shakespeare plays also (To be, or not to be. That is the question.) Is ‘Lil Red’ in Lady McBeth? She must be in a lot of your dreams; King Kong, Pretty Baby, Paper Moon, or in your case Paper Mars (I’m gonna send my wife to Mars.)

I will begin answering Carl once I study his questions. TO BE CONTINUED…


Carl Delery

The shroud of Turin (pictured below) is the only physical image
that was left for history (and that image is stamped in the very blood which Jesus shed from the cross). If the message that Jesus taught is spiritual, then photographs,films, audio tapes, etc. seem to be the opposite of how
he wanted to teach. Think of the miracle that it is, in
and of itself, that Jesus’ word has lived. His word is the
greatest recorded message in the history of the world. Yet,
it is just as alive and vibrant as it was when it flowed
off of his tongue. That is why I think the Lord did his
work before the advent of modern recording devices.
I welcome you to email Rev. Ferdinand if there is a
special request that you want us to put on the altar of the

holy shroud

The Shroud of Turin

Answer #1 to Carl:
Only in my dreams! It is getting late, and I may be falling asleep soon. What can possibly be waiting for me in my dreams? “Ferdie Werdie, where are you? Do you want to visit me in your dreams? I am waiting,” she says.

Ferdie Werdie, where are you?

Ferdie Werdie, where are you?

Gazette ยท @Ferd3desk (cont)…
23rd Mar 2017
I saw a report this morning on the local news about how the trend of many people moving back to the Big Easy after Hurricane Katrina has changed. In my opinion, it is the high taxes, myriad fees and fines, run-away crime rate, government overbearance, inaccurate/incorrect traffic cameras, etc., etc. I dunno’. New Orleans has the highest taxes in the country which all add up to making citizens here feel like victims more than ever. This local government is not user friendly. It is literally totally user un-friendly.

There is an old Buddhist saying which reminds me of Donald Trump and his #minions. The Buddhists say, “No matter how much you wash a turd, it will not come clean.” Trump and his henchmen will never come clean even when their lies are exposed. We can see with our own eyes that the National Mall at Trump’s inauguration was nearly empty. Yet, he maintains to our faces that he could see millions of people that day from the platform on the Capitol steps. Trump is the historical definition of a turd.

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Carolina’s Last Playoff Drive

I could not watch Carolina Panthers’ last playoff drive versus the New Orleans Saints on Sunday. So, I posted it here for posterity and for me to study.

1st and 10 at CAR 31
(1:51 – 4th) (Shotgun) C.Newton pass deep right to D.Funchess to 50 for 19 yards (M.Lattimore). Pass 17, YAC 2

1st and 10 at 50
(1:29 – 4th) (No Huddle, Shotgun) C.Newton pass short right to G.Olsen to NO 47 for 3 yards (K.Crawley). Pass 2, YAC 1

2nd and 7 at NO 47
(1:05 – 4th) (No Huddle, Shotgun) C.Newton pass deep right to K.Clay ran ob at NO 26 for 21 yards. Pass 21, YAC 0

1st and 10 at NO 26
(0:58 – 4th) (Shotgun) C.Newton pass incomplete short right to G.Olsen.

2nd and 10 at NO 26
(0:52 – 4th) (Shotgun) C.Newton pass incomplete deep right to C.McCaffrey. PENALTY on NO-R.Bush, Defensive Holding, 5 yards, enforced at NO 26 – No Play.

1st and 10 at NO 21
(0:46 – 4th) (Shotgun) C.Newton pass incomplete deep middle to D.Funchess (M.Lattimore) [D.Onyemata].

2nd and 10 at NO 21
(0:41 – 4th) (Shotgun) C.Newton pass incomplete short right [C.Jordan]. PENALTY on CAR-C.Newton, Intentional Grounding, 13 yards, enforced at NO 21.

3rd and 23 at NO 34
(0:19 – 4th) (Shotgun) C.Newton pass incomplete deep right to D.Funchess.

4th and 23 at NO 34
(0:11 – 4th) (Shotgun) C.Newton sacked at CAR 49 for -17 yards (V.Bell).

Then, New Orleans wins!

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Drive Them Crazy!

Oh, I sure hope that I get a movie deal for one of my books. Plus, if you want to drive them crazy, please buy my 1st book.


Yes, Drive “em Crazy!

BY THE WAY (from the book that I am writing now), “Another angel came and stood at the altar, having a golden bowl; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne of the Lord.”

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Mea Culpa! Mea Maxima Culpa!

I studied Latin for 6 years (4 years at Jesuit High School and 2 years at New Orleans University); so, I know the “Mea Culpa” well. Also, I was an altar boy at Corpus Christi and Sacred Heart grammar schools. During the “Confiteor” part of the Mass at the Penitential Act, the congregation beats their heart 3 times, the altar boy rings the bell 3 times as we confess (Confiteor) to the Lord: “Mea Culpa! Mea Culpa! Mea Maxima Culpa!” We literally apologize to God. The Latin translation is: “Through my fault! Through my fault! Through my most grievous fault!” I just finished praying the “Mea Culpa” on my knees as I burned my Novena candle and burned incense… because:

I created on FaceBook a ghost/alias page for posts like the above picture. I will explain how I inadvertently posted that picture on my “family” page at first. On Instagram it is a video, but appears on Facebook as a still picture; and I did not know this girl was going to spin around into a pose like that. Some of my friends, family and church members on my “family” FaceBook page complained in the past that I should not post salacious pictures of girls like this on F/b if I call myself a Christian. So, I created my “alias” page for ex-schoolmates, workmates, etc. Also, I actually meant to post this to my “alias” page. I truly do honor the wishes of my church members, friends and family. In fact, I will presently burn my Novena candle “post haste” in order to say my MEA CULPA for accidentally posting the picture to my family page.

To the Lord I say, “Mea Culpa! Mea Culpa! Mea Maxima Culpa!”


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Adrian Peterson: A Cardinal

I am so happy that future Hall of Fame running back Adrian Peterson is now an Arizona Cardinal. In fact, he is already listed as #1 on the Cardinals depth chart. Geaux Arizona Cardinals.

Mardi Gras

Mardi Gras

Where is “Old Blue Eyes” when we need him. I love how Frank once told the Orange Clown, Donald Trump, to “go BLEEP himself.” TELL HIM, Frank!!

NEW ORLEANS, October 11, 2017 — Inside of every big, bad man lives a little, bitty boy. One of the fine little girls from my school story below (actually 2 grades above me) who was highly honored by her girlfriends for often beating me up in grammar school subsequently asked me to take her to her first prom when she was a junior in high school. Her exotic and romantic prom was on one of the river boats in New Orleans, and was the very day that I became 007, super agent man :).

In grammar school, I would hide in the bushes and shadows on the girls’ side of the school yard in order to watch the sexy little girls’ fine, pretty legs as they jumped rope and played hopscotch. I would even occasionally run out and yank their school skirt up to get a clean, bird’s-eye view. Ooh-Wee! The little girls often jumped me and beat me up. I LOVED IT! I actually also wrote about this in my first book DRIVE WOMEN CRAZY!

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